Posted by Dean on March 29, 2001 at 13:59:31:
In Reply to: No advice posted by SHL on March 29, 2001 at 13:44:51:
: I noticed that a couple of people asked for advice on how to tell or proceed with a partner. I might be a good example of why it is probably impossible for advice to be given and it maybe risky to accept advice. I am a happily married woman. My husband is a very nice, understanding and fun loving person. He also has a very strong preference for female feet. I am absolutely convinced that if I had learned of his preference prior to learning he was nice etc. I would not have ever given myself a chance to learn of and enjoy his other qualities. Call it up-bringing; call it prejudice; call it what you like. I just never would have considered it “normal” if it was one of the first or over-riding characteristics I learned about him. I mean no offense to anyone by making that statement. I am just objectively saying that in my case timing was indeed essential and timing may be just as essential to other women. : The use of the word preference is NOT a euphemism. He compliments my other body parts and does not ignore them. This could also be an essential element from a female perspective. If instead of a preference he had such a strong attraction that it excluded all other interests, I honestly believe I would not have been attracted to him. Again, this is not a judgmental statement but a representation of how I feel. : As the webmaster suggested in one of his responses, discussion played role. I think it important to note that he took the lead in initiating the discussion. At least to ME that indicated a high degree of comfort on his part as to who he was and what he was like. I don’t think I could have comfort in what someone was like if they were not comfortable themselves. : I am not generally considered an analytical egghead. (well..maybe some would argue the egghead part.) My point is this: I believe that very minor changes in timing, his personality, his interest, my personality and my interest and we would not have been attracted to each other. As obvious as that ought to be, it just struck me that some may not see the obvious because they came here and asked for advice. Nine years ago I was a stocking-footed bride and to this day when I am with him I am shoeless as much as possible. I have obviously adjusted nicely……(smile) However, regardless of my adjustment I believe that I cannot offer advice to any other man or woman. In fact, I am doubtful whether anyone can. Thank you and good luck. We do have good luck! I loved the part where you said "My point is......" One of the girls that does live shows on dangling.com bought me a baseball cap that says "My point is..." :-) All in all though you DID offer advice and very wise advice in my estimation. You said that all people and circumstances are different. There is no ONE MAGIC FORMULA to sharing this info. One must have the sense and judgement to act in accordance to the circumstances. Dean
You wrote a message of tremendous value.